Gary Ghislain

“You’re going to have to open up your mind before I tell you a few things about Jackie,” he says, squeezing himself on the bench opposite me, his stomach and Hawaiian shirt rubbing against the table. I open my bottle with my back teeth. He smiles at the trick, so I snatch his and open it in the same fashion. “I’m pretty opened minded,” I say, giving him his ginger ale. “Sure,” he nods, like he gets me, and says, “Your step mum is Jack the Ripper.” I’m quite silent for a while. Even the flies got so surprised, they stopped buzzing. “Maybe I’m not that opened minded,” I admit. “There’s more.” “Like what? She’s also the Loch Ness monster and the Hound of the Baskerville?” “She comes from Outer space.” Someone is supposed to laugh here somewhere. But he doesn’t. He just stares at me blankly like it was all obvious in his head, like the prize of milk. A teen realizes that his evil stepmom is a creature from another world eating, digesting and replicating his entire family. Fre

My initial dream was so 80s. I wanted to be the class clown for a while, dress weird - mainly in black -, paint my eyes and nails, and then, go out there into the world and meet a monster that would have loved me and that I would have loved back.  We would have exchanged blood, snakes, scratches and bites. She would have called me her favorite abomination. I would have called her my worst nightmare and I would have totally French kissed her under a full moon. We would have got married in a crypt somewhere in Paris on an Halloween Night surrounded by horrendous goons - and then, we would have walked the streets to find an abandoned Manor where we would have lived together until flesh rotted off our bones. Oh. And also, we would have procreated. We would have bred a flock of abnormalities that we would have named and loved no matter how many legs they had. I wanted at least two girls and a Cyclops. We would have been this super sexy dark couple totally into each

Here are 5 good reasons to stay (or become) single (again). 1. You are safer Being in a serious relationship is dangerous. Emotionally and Physically. People in serious relationships throw things at each other (true story!), coffee cups, bottles, sharp objects. And that’s just because you didn’t put down the toilet seat. They yell at each other too, all the time. They say things that are so passive aggressive they cut through skin, flesh and bones. Being single, every potential partner is ultra nice to you. Especially on the first dates. They laugh at every word you say, even if you didn’t mean to be funny. They say only good things about you, like they love the color of your sofa or adored your paella. And if they go all Jason Voorhees on you - or just yell at you -, it’s perfectly alright to throw them out or have the police remove them without having to split up your book collection or negotiate the cat custody.  2. You are fitter. If you’re single, you